Pray that I live

God knows what's needed. God will know what I need help with. Although I am not strong enough to talk to him directly which is why I'm trying to find help here. I don't want to get into details. I am a 15 year old boy and I'm struggling with mental health. I have been an atheist most of my life which is why I don't know how to pray to Him directly. But desperate times call for desperate measures. I don't trust myself. I only have one plan for my future and that plan is the only thing keeping me alive. Unfortunately, I dont think that plan will succeed. This is where I need Him. Where I need you. Pray to him that my plan works because of it doesn't, I don't want to fail God. I don't want to fail my mother. I don't want to die young. Pray for me, please.