NO cancer and NO alcohol

Jesus and fellow Christians. There are far too many snowballls piling up and hitting me harder each day. Several family members including my mom have cancer and many have recently died from it. My father was an alcoholic for many years and now this seems to be the only subconscious way that I escape. I pray all the time and I am a man that can't stop crying. I escape my house, leave my wife wondering where i am and it's affecting my work and relationships. I know i am being wreckless and irresponsible, this is not in my nature and i am trying. Please pray for me, my family, my friends and for God helping me to heal my life and be sober.